Wasting Away Again Here In Loserville

Fitting that 2008 here in the City of Athletic Heartbreak (a.k.a. Dallas) ended with a thud as the Cowboys lost to Philadelphia by a score of 173-6. I specifically remember being so excited when they handled the Green Bay No-Brett-Favres their first loss of the season to move to 3-0 and looked so invincible. They still looked decent at 8-4 with 4 games left, after Romo's pinkie fiasco. But alas, another December collapse did them in, and now all us Dallas-ites will watch the NFL playoffs with an air of apathy and complacence.


I got to thinking about how unbelievably tough it's been for DFW fan-dom. Take into consideration:

Exhibit A: The Dallas Cowboys. Since the Cowboys' last Super Bowl Victory 12 years ago, futility has pretty much dominated Texas Stadium. But the last three years have given us hope. That's a blessing and a curse, really, as da Boys cruised into the playoffs last year at 13-3 and home field advantage throughout, only to be rudely dismissed by Eli "Sure Wish I Could Host SNL Like My Brother Did" Manning and the New York Giants. That could at least be explained by the Giants' eventual Super Bowl victory over the evil Patriots. But the collapse this year, after so many NFL "experts" predicted great things for the Cowboys, has just been one more tease.

Exhibit B: The Dallas Mavericks. Since Mark Cuban took over as owner nearly 8 years ago, the Mavericks have the second-best record in the NBA, with the only exception of the boring ol' San Antonio Spurs (who by the way have won three titles in that span).

Since 2001, the Mavs, who were the butt of all NBA-related comedy in the 90's, have had no fewer than 51 wins every season. Not to mention some crazy-entertaining teams back in the Steve Nash era. I guess those players appreciated the PS2s and super-souped up TVs in their locker room, furnished by Mr. Cuban. But apparently, they didn't appreciate them enough to bring a championship home to Big D. In 2006, the Mavs came out on top of the Western Conference after knocking the Grizzlies senseless, eeking out an OT Game 7 win to top off the best non-finals playoff series in the history of the NBA over the Spurs, and riding Dirk's 50-point Game 5 performance to a 6-game beatdown of Nash's Phoenix Suns. Then, up 2-0 in the 2006 NBA Finals, the Miami Heat and the games' referees teamed up to send the Mavs home sans trophy. It was like all us Dallas-ites had been staring down a huge bounty of presents under the Christmas tree for weeks, only to eventually realize they had all been taken away on Christmas Eve by Bennett Salvatore. True story: I did not buy a Western Conference Championship t-shirt because I thought it'd be silly since they'd obviously be NBA champs a week later. Ooo, that hurt.

I feel your pain, Coach Johnson. And I need not mention their 66 win season in 2007 when they were ousted by 8-seeded Golden State and Baron Davis's beard in the most stultifying debacle in sports playoff history.

Things aren't looking especially good now, either, but us Mavs fans are so jaded and numb that we wouldn't really believe it even if it they actually did win a championship. But at least we still got Dirk, who, when he's on, can be the most fun player to watch in the NBA. Take that, LeBron. Official Josh-In-Real-Life Prediction: Mavs find themselves a 5-seed in the playoffs at 52 wins, 30 losses, and knock off Portland in the first round, only to be blasted by the Lakers in 5 games in the conference semis.

Interesting question: is it better to have your favorite team charge to the precipice of a championship, on the verge of being a part of sports legend, only to come crashing down right at the end of the journey (not to mention like 4 years in a row), or is easier to take if the team is perennially bad, and you never have the scent of near-glory in the first place?

Exhibit C: The University of Texas at Dallas. Still no Comet football, dammit. Temoc angry!


Exhibit D: The Texas Rangers. Outside of Josh Hamilton's 28 home run performance in the Derby, nothing has been right in Rangerland for probly 10 years. And I think we're still paying Alex Rodriguez's contract and will be until the end of the universe.

Exhibit E: The Dallas Burn / FC Dallas. At the risk of offending one particular soccer-loving reader of this blog, soccer is pretty much irrelevant in DFW once you reach the age of 9. Except when David Beckham is in town.

Hmm, think it's obvious from this blog's word allocation which sport I favor? So anyway, hopefully the law of averages will help us out in the next few years. Twelve years of futility is long enough here in Loserville.