Doomsday Particle Accelerators

How did it come to this?

It looks like our scientific curiosity has swelled to the point that we will inevitably destroy ourselves. The shocking thing is that it has nothing to do with nukes and the like. Imagine my surprise a few days ago when one of my buddies informed me that a man-made black hole will eat our planet in five years.

Maybe you heard about this. The end of the world is fast approaching in August, when the largest particle accelerator in the world is finished and put to use. By sending tiny atoms at super-high speeds and making them collide, it is probable that a infinitely small black hole will form as a result. (I would reach back into my flawless understanding of quantum mechanics and explain why, but I'm tired and don't know how to make all the fancy mathematical symbols.) Most scientists seem to believe such black holes will either evaporate (So what, black holes are like rain puddles now?) or simply pass through the Earth's mass at an unbelievable speed and be thrust into outer space. But the possibility remains that the Earth's gravitational field could trap the black hole, causing it to sit tight in the Earth's core for the next few years and slowly swallow the entire planet.

Concerned parties who have the radical thought of keeping the Earth from propelling into another dimension have been trying for years to stop this madness, according to a CNN article: "Critics of the LHC filed a lawsuit in a Hawaiian court in March seeking to block its startup, alleging that there was 'a significant risk that ... operation of the Collider may have unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet.'"

Seriously, this whole thing is crazy. I have no choice but to place this item in second place on my ThreatDown. Do you really have to ask what number one is?


Bears!

But seriously, this whole particle accelerator thing is supposed to answer all kinds of questions about quantum physics, string theory, and the like. Which I suppose will be useful, assuming we're still around after this experiment goes down.

And speaking of things that blow your mind, check out this animation of a Sierpinski triangle I found when I was (really) bored. Whoa. (Gimme a break, I was a math minor.)


And finally, your random quote for the day:

"How long is it going to take in our society to see someone with an eyepatch, and not think that they're a pirate? I saw a guy in a suit with a briefcase and an eyepatch the other day, and all I could think of was 'Yarrr!'"
- Demetri Martin

Unabashed Self-Promotion

The company I work for, Memgen, now has a website! To all the people who have listened to me blabber on about various aspects of what I do in the last few months, now you can read about us in one consolidated and much more concisely worded source. (And thank you for putting up with my blabbering.)

The latest Big News: we're partnering with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to run a new clinical trial, as evidenced by this Dallas Morning-News article (albeit short).

Spread the word.

Album Review #2a, b, c: Death Cab for Cutie

Something pretty cool is going to be happening tomorrow. I will hopefully be standing about 20 feet from Ben Gibbard, lead singer and master songwriter of the alt group Death Cab for Cutie. Hopefully, anyway, with my GA tickets. So to honor the occasion, here's a triple dip of mini-reviews from three DCFC albums...

(Sidebar: I resisted the temptation of using the phrase "killing two birds with one stone" to not sound hokey. But if you think about it, that's kind of a morbid phrase, eh? Killing birds with rocks? What philosophical genius came up with that one?)

--

Transatlanticism (2003), by Death Cab for Cutie

I bought this album just 2 days ago in anticipation of the concert. At first I was disappointed, but it grew on me slowly. It's sort of been that way with all of their albums with me...I think it takes a few listens to appreciate the subtlety of what they do.

The overall mood of this album is pretty much summed up by the cover. Take one glance, and you plunge into mild depression. That's the thing about Transatlanticism: while the lyrics are meaningful and deep ("Your heart is a river that flows from your chest through every organ"), they're just as often depressing.

One of Death Cab's staples is the use of slowly developing, repetitive themes. The title track epitomizes this ability, and you see it in many other tracks as well. It's also amazing how you encounter thickly textured, highly instrumental sounds on one track ("Expo '86"), and then just a simple piano accompanying the vocals on another ("Passenger Seat").

Short version: good album, great music. Just doesn't have any especially high points.

Grade: B+

--

Plans (2005), by Death Cab for Cutie

Plans was my first exposure to Death Cab. And boy do I love this one. Like its predecessor, sometimes it fools you into thinking it's positive, when in fact the lyrics are dark. "Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole / just like a faucet that leaks, and there is comfort in the sound ... Your love is going to drown." I mean, geez. Makes me want to jump on one of those velvet psychiatrist couches.

But really, pretty much all of the tracks on Plans demonstrate Gibbard's mastery over words. The metaphor in "Summer Skin" of a carefree summer relationship being lost after shedding sunburned layers of skin is brilliant. The sweetly expressed lyrics of "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" and the much darker "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" are signs of a gifted poet, too.

Musically, again, DCFC triumphs. The single resonating piano note at the end of "Marching Bands of Manhattan" punctuates a slowly developing, crescendoing theme. The popular "Soul Meets Body" (my brother has THE best story about this, but that's for another day) and "Crooked Teeth" are upbeat enough to keep you awake. It all just fits together so perfectly.

Short version: awesome lyrics, flawless music, the premium of alternative rock. If not for "Stable Song", the only weak point of this album, this just might've been perfect.

Grade: A

--

Narrow Stairs (2008), by Death Cab for Cutie

I read a really interesting article on Ben Gibbard in Paste magazine about how he went to Bixby Canyon for inspiration when coming up with this album, the same place where Jack Kerouac went to write his novels. Thus, the name of the lead track, "Bixby Canyon Bridge." At 1:39 in, you're confronted with a sound that really departs from the previous albums...strong guitars with a reverberating voice. Then a slowly building pattern for the last 3 minutes of the song that's compounded with lots of what I will call Really Awesome Noise.

The single, "I Will Possess Your Heart", starts off with over four minutes of instrumental music, which unfortunately you will never hear on the radio, because I think it's the best part of the album. The rest of the song is a little too repetitive for my tastes, and just kinda sounds like a persistently creepy guy chasing a girl.

Unfortunately, the album peaks way too early. The rest of the album is adequately good (how pretentious of me, the guy who can barely play Chopsticks on a keyboard). Some of the songs just seem a little silly musically, like "Your New Twin-Sized Bed" and "You Can Do Better Than Me", compared to the accompanying lyrics. Maybe that's just irony?

Short version: a top-heavy album that, don't get me wrong, is still quite good.

Grade: B

Hopefully tomorrow's work day will be shorter than this blog, so that stage time will come quickly.

Josh Allen: Basketball Coach

Why not? If Vinny del Negro can get hired by the Chicago Bulls, what's stopping me?

So the 2008 NBA Finals are in full swing as we wind down the unbelievably long post-season that has lasted about as long as the Spanish-American war. (Really.) And what better way to attract casual fans (or in my case, disillusioned Maverick fans) than to take a trip down NBA's memory lane and have us a good old-fashioned Celtics-Lakers series? Ah, the images come flooding back...Red Auerback's cigar, Don Nelson's miracle shot off the heel of the rim, Kurt Rambis's rec-specs getting rattled by Kevin McHale's forearm....

It's been a fun series to watch so far. Paul Pierce's ridiculous 3-point bank shot as he was fouled by Vladimir Radmanovich (who has totaled about 698 fouls this series). Ray Allen squeezing off a corner 3 with 2 hands in his face. Joey Crawford tech-ing people left and right. Pierce's knee injury and subsequent comeback was phenomenal too, as described in Bill Simmons's ESPN column...

"During Game 1 of the NBA Finals on Thursday night, when Paul Pierce was clutching his right leg in agony, the Boston crowd was rocking minus-4 on the volume knob within a few seconds. He slumped into a heap a few feet in front of the Celtics' bench, with teammates and coaches quickly surrounding him so the fans couldn't see anything. Two agonizing minutes passed. If you placed thought balloons over everyone's heads in the Whatever The Hell The Garden Is Called, each one would have looked the same... 'We are f-----.' "

But then he miraculously bounced back and hit two threes on one leg. Incredible. Must be that Celtic magic that's suddenly re-appeared after 17 years of absence. Such was the case as the Celtics snatched a 2-0 series lead, then led by about 10 with 7 minutes to play in Game 3.

Then it happened. The Celtics started to turn into the *gasp* Mavericks.

They employed a strategy to immediately double-team Kobe after he passed the half-court line. Dallas did this in a game in LA earlier this year, and the same thing happened every time: Kobe passes up top to Lamar Odom, who then leads a 4-on-3 mini-fast-break and the Lakers score in like 3 seconds. Over and over! And so the Celtics start doing the same thing, and what happens? Gasol gets two freebies. Next? Voo-ya-chich hits a 3.

What really burns me is that both commentators Mark Jackson and Jeff "Milhouse's Dad" Van Gundy agree with this strategy! Why? It's failing miserably, just like it did with the Mavericks!! This is why I would be a great coach in the NBA. (Photoshopped image of me in a suit yelling at Bennett Salvatore coming soon.)

As a staunch Celtics fan (as of about 1 week ago), I really hope this trend doesn't continue. Think about it...up 2-0, then up by 10 with 7 minutes to go in Game 3...sound familiar? I believe that's how some team in north-central Texas lost in 6 to Miami back in '06.

But that's enough Maverick-bashing. I'm their number one fan. As such, I feel obligated to post the following video:



Ah, that's better.

Go Celts.

Album Review #1: Nine Black Alps

I own a guitar. Someday I will learn to play it the right way, without continuously looking at tabs. Someday.

But not today. I tend to overcompensate by acting like I know what I'm talking about when analyzing other people who play the guitar, or other various instruments. And I'm already a guy who tries to expose himself to as much (good) new music as possible all the time, and then spread the love. So naturally, one of my favorite websites is The Daily Vault, which you need to check out if you haven't already.

Anywho, until I learn the guitar, I'm going to pretend that I'm on their staff, and review music from time to time. Jason Warburg, if you're reading, consider this blog my audition.

On to review #1:

--

Everything Is, by Nine Black Alps

This is the 2005 debut album from Nine Black Alps, a group of four guys from Manchester, UK, who have drawn numerous comparisons to Nirvana. A reviewer on Amazon puts it pretty well: "Were you ever listening to Interpol, or Maximo Park, or Franz Ferdinand, or the Killers and just thought to yourself, 'If only this band ROCKED a little bit harder...'?" Nine Black Alps fills that void for me. it's the ideal blend of indie rock and grunge.

I heard the fourth track, "Unsatisfied", on Pandora a little while back. Whenever it came on at work, I always found myself stopping and just enjoying the unbridled riffs throughout the song. The opening sequence, a very simple but expressive series of notes played by solo guitar, gives me goosebumps without fail. I love the contrast between that and the comparatively heavy chorus, which is even better.

Then I bought the album during my weekly pilgrimage to the local used CD store. I popped it in, and the first track, "Get Your Guns", blew me away, too. The intense, frenzied guitar riffs just really did it for me. The single of the album, "Cosmopolitan", is awesome as well, except I sometimes find it a tad repetitive. I love the fiery guitar and vocals in "Ironside", too.

OK, so they can rock. But the acoustic tracks like "Behind Your Eyes" and "Intermission" (another favorite) give the album another dimension. They break up the album nicely, giving it varied volume and pace.

My only complaint is that they fall in love with feedback sometimes. Especially the case with "Everybody Is", where the middle section is so chock full of feedback that I inevitably hit the "next" button so my ears don't bleed.

All in all, though, Everything Is, without trying to be too cute, provides some great head-banging driving music, which I love to do after a crappy day at work. The album art is always fun to figure out, too. A faceless rabbit smoking a cigarette? Those crazy Europeans...

Plus they share their acronym with the National Basketball Association, which gives them bonus points in my book.

Grade: A-

Go-bama!

I found an article on CNN where a bishop described his feelings and opinions as he watched Barack Obama wrap up the Democratic nomination. I'm not great with sharing my thoughts on politics, so I'll let Bishop T. D. Jakes do it for me:

"I congratulate not just Sen. Obama on his victory, but the country on this landmark event that has shattered a past all too often filled with reasons to separate us as opposed to a voice of reason to unite us. The victory cup does not rest on the shoulders of the senator alone, but to all those who have been able to lift the conversation from petty racism, antiquated cut-throat politics, and fear-based campaigns to the larger issues of how we would like to see our country led into the future and ultimately how our country will be remembered."

Couldn't agree more. Yelling at each other hasn't really worked too well, as we've especially seen over the last decade or so. Let's finally learn that lesson, huh? The words "politics" and "government" have developed such overwhelmingly negative connotations, because most discussions involving those topics are made under the pretense, "I'm right, you're wrong, deal with it." All that does is divide the American people more and more deeply.

Maybe that's starting to come to an end...?