Josh Allen: Basketball Coach

Why not? If Vinny del Negro can get hired by the Chicago Bulls, what's stopping me?

So the 2008 NBA Finals are in full swing as we wind down the unbelievably long post-season that has lasted about as long as the Spanish-American war. (Really.) And what better way to attract casual fans (or in my case, disillusioned Maverick fans) than to take a trip down NBA's memory lane and have us a good old-fashioned Celtics-Lakers series? Ah, the images come flooding back...Red Auerback's cigar, Don Nelson's miracle shot off the heel of the rim, Kurt Rambis's rec-specs getting rattled by Kevin McHale's forearm....

It's been a fun series to watch so far. Paul Pierce's ridiculous 3-point bank shot as he was fouled by Vladimir Radmanovich (who has totaled about 698 fouls this series). Ray Allen squeezing off a corner 3 with 2 hands in his face. Joey Crawford tech-ing people left and right. Pierce's knee injury and subsequent comeback was phenomenal too, as described in Bill Simmons's ESPN column...

"During Game 1 of the NBA Finals on Thursday night, when Paul Pierce was clutching his right leg in agony, the Boston crowd was rocking minus-4 on the volume knob within a few seconds. He slumped into a heap a few feet in front of the Celtics' bench, with teammates and coaches quickly surrounding him so the fans couldn't see anything. Two agonizing minutes passed. If you placed thought balloons over everyone's heads in the Whatever The Hell The Garden Is Called, each one would have looked the same... 'We are f-----.' "

But then he miraculously bounced back and hit two threes on one leg. Incredible. Must be that Celtic magic that's suddenly re-appeared after 17 years of absence. Such was the case as the Celtics snatched a 2-0 series lead, then led by about 10 with 7 minutes to play in Game 3.

Then it happened. The Celtics started to turn into the *gasp* Mavericks.

They employed a strategy to immediately double-team Kobe after he passed the half-court line. Dallas did this in a game in LA earlier this year, and the same thing happened every time: Kobe passes up top to Lamar Odom, who then leads a 4-on-3 mini-fast-break and the Lakers score in like 3 seconds. Over and over! And so the Celtics start doing the same thing, and what happens? Gasol gets two freebies. Next? Voo-ya-chich hits a 3.

What really burns me is that both commentators Mark Jackson and Jeff "Milhouse's Dad" Van Gundy agree with this strategy! Why? It's failing miserably, just like it did with the Mavericks!! This is why I would be a great coach in the NBA. (Photoshopped image of me in a suit yelling at Bennett Salvatore coming soon.)

As a staunch Celtics fan (as of about 1 week ago), I really hope this trend doesn't continue. Think about it...up 2-0, then up by 10 with 7 minutes to go in Game 3...sound familiar? I believe that's how some team in north-central Texas lost in 6 to Miami back in '06.

But that's enough Maverick-bashing. I'm their number one fan. As such, I feel obligated to post the following video:



Ah, that's better.

Go Celts.