Doomsday Particle Accelerators

How did it come to this?

It looks like our scientific curiosity has swelled to the point that we will inevitably destroy ourselves. The shocking thing is that it has nothing to do with nukes and the like. Imagine my surprise a few days ago when one of my buddies informed me that a man-made black hole will eat our planet in five years.

Maybe you heard about this. The end of the world is fast approaching in August, when the largest particle accelerator in the world is finished and put to use. By sending tiny atoms at super-high speeds and making them collide, it is probable that a infinitely small black hole will form as a result. (I would reach back into my flawless understanding of quantum mechanics and explain why, but I'm tired and don't know how to make all the fancy mathematical symbols.) Most scientists seem to believe such black holes will either evaporate (So what, black holes are like rain puddles now?) or simply pass through the Earth's mass at an unbelievable speed and be thrust into outer space. But the possibility remains that the Earth's gravitational field could trap the black hole, causing it to sit tight in the Earth's core for the next few years and slowly swallow the entire planet.

Concerned parties who have the radical thought of keeping the Earth from propelling into another dimension have been trying for years to stop this madness, according to a CNN article: "Critics of the LHC filed a lawsuit in a Hawaiian court in March seeking to block its startup, alleging that there was 'a significant risk that ... operation of the Collider may have unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet.'"

Seriously, this whole thing is crazy. I have no choice but to place this item in second place on my ThreatDown. Do you really have to ask what number one is?


Bears!

But seriously, this whole particle accelerator thing is supposed to answer all kinds of questions about quantum physics, string theory, and the like. Which I suppose will be useful, assuming we're still around after this experiment goes down.

And speaking of things that blow your mind, check out this animation of a Sierpinski triangle I found when I was (really) bored. Whoa. (Gimme a break, I was a math minor.)


And finally, your random quote for the day:

"How long is it going to take in our society to see someone with an eyepatch, and not think that they're a pirate? I saw a guy in a suit with a briefcase and an eyepatch the other day, and all I could think of was 'Yarrr!'"
- Demetri Martin