Maybe after my little summer sabbatical (notice I’ve spared you from any blogging since June 12...your respite is hereby over), you’ll see some readable material here. Though not likely.
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Last Christmas, I received a subscription to D magazine, the official narcissistic publication of my current home base, Dallas, Texas. Various Dallasites (that would be the official Dallas denomym) contributed to a neutral, objective evaluation of the city in a truly fair, balanced, and unbiased article, 119 Reasons Why We Love Dallas. See my thoughts on a few chosen items:
#1: Because We Have Manners. Ha. So this is why Dallas is better than the likes of New York City, Chicago, Austin, and San Francisco. I suppose cultural diversity, storied histories, and extraordinary local color serve as modest criteria for evaluating the overall quality of the city, but clearly, they all pale into comparison to manners, which CLEARLY is at the top of that list. Still, this is an interesting point. I will never forget when I was at a journalism camp back in high school (this was in Kilgore, a small town in East Texas, by the way...not Dallas) covering a traveling band of Shakespearean thespians. All of them commented on what a pleasure it was just to be in Texas, as EVERYONE is extraordinarily polite. I suppose there is an attractive quality to Texan manners: it’s not overly formal like, say, Great Britain. It’s a much more friendly and laid-back type of politeness. Please, pardon me for being so rude earlier.
#7: Because We Know a Guy Who Lost $44,000 in One Night in a Weekly Poker Game. (Wasn’t me.) Now this is pretty impressive. Dallas has one of the top underground poker networks in the country. If only I was good at it.
#50: Because You Can Wear Cowboy Boots With Your Suit. 'Nuff said.
#51: Because We Invented the Perfect Summer Drink, The Frozen Margarita. Apparently restauranteur Mariano Martinez invented the frozen marg in 1972 as a way to keep his business afloat. Thirty-seven years later, here we are. As I found out this past March, you can even get these things served to you in a big glass boot in New York. In fact, the original frozen margarita machine is now sitting in the Smithsonian. Think I’ll go have one right now...be back to finish my column in a bit.
OK, I’m back. Now where were we?
#68: Because We Yell “Stars!” During the National Anthem. (Referring to the practice of Stars fans at American Airlines Center.) I recently went to my first Stars game, and the national anthem was quite possibly the best part because of that.
#69-90: Because We’re the Hollywood of Reality TV. The DFW region has produced champions of a number of reality TV shows in the last several years, including Last Comic Standing, Nashville Star, American Gladiators, and Survivor. Even I’ve won So You Think You Can Dance. (Really. I was as surprised as you. See article.)
#99: Because We’re Such a Demanding Sports Town That We Don’t Fully Appreciate the Fact that We Are All Nowtiznesses. You’ve heard me talk about this again and again. We Mavericks fans haven’t climbed to the NBA apex just yet (although we would have if not for Dwyane Wade and those dirty thieves, er, referees in 2006), but we have been blessed with Dirk Nowitzki, one hell of an MVP-winning, three-pointer-raining, heart-of-a-champion basketball player. As Zac Crain writes in the D column: “Those fans – and there are many out there – fail to see the singular player we’ve been gifted with. A model of German efficiency who is boring only because he is so consistently phenomenal. But I see you, big German. I see you.”
Amen.
#115: Because We Embrace Home-Grown Restaurants. Er, we do? Have you been to Plano? True, you can find local fare if you know where to look. But I haven’t seen any “Keep Dallas Weird” t-shirts, either. (See: Keep Austin Weird)
#117: Because We Can Rock Big Hair. Haha!
And finally, #119:
1 comment:
This is awesome! I laughed out loud when I clicked on the So You Think You Can Dance article! Congrats on the win :)
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