Realism vs Pessimism

A philosopher I know back home in northeast Texas, who lives amongst the trees at the end of a dirt road 5 miles from the nearest grain of asphalt or slab of concrete, imparted to me (through my dad) a nugget of wisdom which I often ponder but which I almost certainly will butcher:

If you keep your expectations lower than high, then (1) you won’t be disappointed when the best outcomes don’t happen and (2) you’ll be pleasantly surprised when they do.

I struggle with this idea sometimes. I like to consider myself a positive person for the most part, so it’s my tendency to expect good things to happen given the right effort. That's what being an optimist is all about, right? Well, there are times when negative outcomes, due to circumstances out of your control (or often times within your control), happen.

Letdown follows. Because you were expecting something better to happen. That sucks. But follow the above principle, and experiencing that fall off the emotional cliff may be less likely.

Careful application of this adage results in stability and even-headedness, and I would argue that it leads to a pretty healthy way to approach life. Contrary to my natural tendency, it’s actually not pessimistic to predict the worst and “brace yourself”. It’s being REALISTIC.

Notice I said “careful application”. It’s a delicate balance, and I think this approach can be taken too far. If you prepare for the worst to happen ALL the time, that’s approaching cynicism: a quality which neither I nor Conan O’Brien cherishes. Maybe if you rush to prepare for the worst case scenario, you subconsciously will steer the outcome towards the negative (even if not the worst case). This isn’t being realistic; it’s being PESSIMISTIC. And once the stink of pessimism invades your mind, it’s awfully tough to shake it off.

But back to being realistic for a moment. One cool corollary is that you can be realistic while remaining OPTIMISTIC on the whole. True, life doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to all the time. However, when it does happen to work out the way you think it’s supposed to, you appreciate it all the more, simply because you have the presence of mind to realize that something not-so-great COULD have happened, but didn’t. Maybe that positive realization reinforces a positive outlook on life.

Ramblings.