Recently, I read an interesting op-ed piece in that fine publication,
The Dallas Morning News, that explored various aspects of one of humankind's greatest fears.
Being wrong.
In her column,
Kathryn Schulz articulates the feelings we often get after erring in any number of ways: by our words, our actions, our ideas. "We often respond with embarrassment, irritation, defensiveness, denial and blame."
Light-hearted example: in a moment of temporary stupidity (or maybe, in my case, permanent stupidity) while hanging with a couple of friends in a bookstore several years ago, I had a "brilliant" idea to fill an empty niche. With a sincerity that belied my single-digit IQ, I proclaimed, "Hey! I wonder why there's not a place where you can rent books? I mean, you could make so much money!"
Really.
Needless to say, intense laughter and embarrassment followed. But more serious situations of course would result in more serious psychological responses. Messing something up at work/school, for instance, probably would result in that irritation and defensiveness Schulz was referring to. We take ourselves awfully seriously sometimes, because we don't like it when it's made painfully public that
we're NOT perfect. "Misunderstanding our mistakes in this way -- seeing them as evidence of flaws and indictment of our overall worth -- exacts a steep toll on us," Ms. Schulz says, "in private and public life alike."
Maybe it helps a little if you realize that it's EXTREMELY natural to be wrong, and we're ALL wrong A LOT. But alternatively, if you sit and think about it, it's astounding just how often we're right...and simply aren't aware of it.
To illustrate this point, Schulz asks you to recall learning the English language:
"If you are a native English speaker, you figured out within the first several years of your life that you should add the suffix -ed to form a past-tense verb. This was a brilliant guess. It's largely correct, it taught you a huge number of words in one fell swoop, and it was a lot less painful than separately memorizing the past tense of every verb in the English language. But it also meant that, sooner or later, you said things like 'drinked' and 'thinked' and 'runned'. You got a huge number of things right, at the price of getting a certain number of things wrong."
So this could help soften the blow a little. Plus, we're not wrong because we're dumb or lazy or whatever (like
Seinfeld's Kramer here). We're wrong because we're still learning.
When I remember to be self-aware in this way, I like to conclude my erroneous episodes by emphasizing to myself that I just learned something. Sure, maybe it doesn't help much when I say something stupid during, say, a job interview or a first date. But it's better than nothing.
